Saturday, 26 July 2008

Train or Die.

There are three things which we all know to be unavoidable truths:

1/ We will all grow old and die, no matter how much plastic surgery and pro-biotic yoghurt we partake of.

2/ The taxman will find you, will get your calculation wrong and will bill you for recalculating it.

3/ One day sooner or later the world will be overrun by zombie hordes.

The first two I can’t help you with, the third however you can be better prepared for. It is to that end that I am directing you to some online training resources. Using these exercises you will learn important lessons in small arms handling, hand to hand combat and use of that most underused close quarters anti-zombie weapon, the 12inch LP record. Good training. Good hunting. Good luck.

Firstly we have my favourite training exercise.

DEANIMATOR
Use your mouse to aim and fire and use shift to change weapons.

Based on H.P.Lovecraft’s training manual “Reanimator” which you can read HERE.

Learn to defend your base with:

ZOMBIE HORDE

THE ENDLESS ZOMBIE RAMPAGE

Experience realistic battle with:

PROJECT VALIDUS

Learn to command your zombie hit squads with:

AUTUMN WAR

Documentaries with their own online training exercises:

DAWN OF THE DEAD See “Blackout”.
SHAUN OF THE DEAD See “Don’t mess with my pint”.

Unless the zombie hordes arrive, I’ll see you soon.

UPDATE:

I apologise for giving anybody the impression that there is any kind of dreadful inevitability that the world will be overrun with zombies. I should point out that it is just as likely to be vampires or possibly werewolves.

1 comment:

Zombies said...

Some more wicked games